Dinobot Island Part 1

Powerglide and Bumblebee are heading to some strange energy readings, and I swear to cthulhu Bumblebee is sleeping with Optimus at this point. Seems like a kind of bermuda triangle type deal. Bumblebee gets caught by a Teradactyl, and Powerglide shoots the dino, but it drops Bee. He falls to the island, and Powerglide starts to fix his jetpack. The planet looks just like Earth That Was, circa 12,000,000 BC. They get accosted by a T-Rex and beat cheeks.

Back at HQ, there’s a dinobot and Blaster talks like he’s in a minstrel show. Grimlok talks like he’s in a dino-minstrel show. Optimus’ verdict: Very impressive. The dinobots go crazy, shit blows up.

Break.

DINOBOTS TRAIN IN AUTOBOT HEADQUARTERS. DINOBOTS TRANSFORM AND END CHAOS. DINOBOTS NOT WANT TO MAKE MESS, OPTIMUS.

RAVAGE SEE AUTOBOTS AND RETURN IN SOUNDWAVE BODY. OPTIMUS TELL GRIMLOK AND HE UNDERSTAND THINGS SAID. WHOOPEE! RATCHET OPTIMISTIC ABOUT DINOBOTS! ME AM TOO.

ME AM TYPE CAPITALS TO MAKE SELF IMPORTANT.

MEGATRON BAD MAN! HIM WANT USE LASERBEAK INVESTIAGTE ISLAND.

ME GRIMLOK LOVE DINOBOT ISLAND. ROOM TO STUMBLE! FEEL LIKE HOME TO ME, GRIMLOK.

SPIKE AM SILLY MEAT-THING, ME WANT MAKE FOOD BUT ME DON’T.

SLUDGE AND SNARL LIKE!! THIS GOOD. POWERGLIDE NEED SHUT STUPID MOUTH BEFORE KICK IT. SPIKE WONDER AWAY FROM GROUP, STUPID MEATBAG. NOW DINOSAUR BIRD ATTACK HIM AND HE SCREAM LIKE SILLY CHILD. HIM LOOK SO TASTY. MUST NOT THINK OF IT.

HAM AND EGGS JOKE FALL FLAT WITH ME. WRITERS GET LAZY, BUT SCHEDULE TOO TIGHT TO FIX.

SPIKE ALMOST GET EATEN BY OTHER DINO WITH LONG NECK, I KICK ASS AT HIM.

BREAK.

The dinosaurs won’t leave and I think Chris Latta dubbed a scream that came from Spike. ME, GRIMLOK SAVE HIM. Shut up.

Spike makes fun the fact that the Dinobots cannot read. That’s not nice, Spike. Illiteracy is a real problem.

Megatron and his cronies get a bead on the island, and sees some sweet energy crystals there. Starscream shows trepediation but Megatron shuts him up and the Decepticons set out for the island.

Dinobot target practice goes well. SWOOP! DO FLYING STUFF. and he does. SLAG! DO FIRE STUFF! and he does. Fire stuff pretty awesome. SNARL! DO TAIL STUFF. Tail stuff kinda lame. Getting better, but still not more better enough. Megatron shows up, and he’s agog over the energy potential of the place. Starscream is still worried, but, you know. Shut up, Starscream.

Volcanoes start to erupt, and Starscream thinks lighting is a bad omen.

DINOS TRAIN SOME MORE. MUCH GOODER! Decepticons not belong here. GRIMLOK AND DINOBOTS GET RID OF DECEPTICONS.

Spike and Bumblebee, who won’t shut the hell up, run into some cavemen and wolly mammoths coming out of a timewap. It reminds me of the old DINOSAURS ATTACK card set from Topps, which I have a complete series of because it’s awesome.

Back on dino island, the Dinobots are attacking the Decepticons, but Megatron won’t stop collecting the energon crystals. This will bite him in the ass. Megatron blows some dinosaurs the hell up (!) and gets them to attack the Dinobots, trying to force them into a conveniently located tar pit. It works, for once, and the Dinobots are not in a good way. Megatron gloats.

END OF PART ONE.