Japanese title: “Defeat Devastar!” and ep 42 of their series

The Constructicons are drilling something, for some reason, and the rock is unstable. They have to stop, and alarms go off like it’s gonna blow the hell up, but it doesn’t. Longhaul loads stuff into Mixmaster, and they fix the cracks. Megatron calls them dicks, and set Mixmaster to check Scavenger’s geological blahblah units. Starscream and Megatron do exposition, there’s something in the earth and they need it and stuff. It’s a giant drill episode, folks.

Up on the surface, Megatron and Starscream walk through a hologram of a rock wall. There’s a space bridge to Cybertron, which is their escape route. Why they don’t just take it now is anybody’s guess.

The Autobots are transformed and racing or something, in the mud. Do they ever drive on actual roads? The Autobots come upon Mixmaster and Scavenger, and follow them. They can’t find them, because of the holo rock wall.

Soundwave’s Laserbeak shows up back inside HQ, and rats out the Autobots up top. Megatron sends out the Descructicons as Devastator to beat some ass. Again, why not just do this every time? Devastator beats the everyloving hell out of Mirage, Jazz, and several other Autobots.

Back in the drillstation, Starscream screams. Back topside, Devastator laughs as the ‘Bots shoot at him. The Autobots do a little rope-a-dope and Devastator goes down like an AT-AT Imperial Walker. Yeah, I went there.

At the Ark, a guy in a wheelchair has these discs that might be able to put Devastator under Autobot control. They put together a raiding party and arrive under cover of afternoon.

Ironhide freezes the waterfall, which messes up the Decepticons drill. The Destructicons transform and head up to see what is going on. Cleverly situated Autobots place the discs on each one of the Constructicons, and get the hell out. Starscream quips, and it’s break.

Break.

Starscream wants to bust a cap in the stealth Autobots, and Megatron says no. He also won’t explain his plan to Starscream, or us, but we take it anyway WHY WON’T YOU LET US IN, MEGATRON? You don’t have to love this baby inside me but it’s going to love you.

Starscream quips, they follow the ‘Bots and squeeze off a few rounds at the Autobots. Then Megatron sends a few guys to the main Autobot forces and unleashes Devastator again. The Autobot guys active their control of Devastator, and Starscream shits himself. The handicapable fellow is ecstatic. Optimus doesn’t want to go in for the kill, because he’s a smug asshole.

Back inside, Megatron and Starscream do more exposition. It’s 15 minutes into the episode! Megatron calls Starscream stupid. He reveals he’s got a remote disruptor, which will stop the Autobot control of Devastator. Oh snap! Megatron is drilling into the earth’s core come hell or high-water, and fuck you if you don’t like it. God I hope it works. SET ME FREE, MEGATRON.

In the Ark, the Autobots play with their new toys, the Destructicons. I type that wrong EVERY TIME. The Ark cracks a bit, and Prime figures out that they’ve started drilling again. They go to investigate, bringing Devastator.

There is a fixin’ to be a Robot Fight but no, Megatron pulls his chicanery and nothing happens except maybe the wheelchair guy is gonna be crushed by rocks.

Break.

The drill is nearing the earth’s core, and things are getting all shaky. Blah blah circuits blah blah logic chips, and now Devastator is out of control. Hell yes. He tosses Starscream like a doll into the drill controls, and Starscream, in a rare moment of clarity shouts at Megatron “YOU AND YOUR STUPID PLANS, EVERYTHING IS OUT OF CONTROL” Drop that zero and get yourself a hero! Decepticons head to the space bridge, but it’s broken, and they’re doomed. Now they have to stop the drill, and the Autobots and Decepticons work together to stop it. Blah blah control blah blah jargon. Starscream screams and get smacked down by Devastator. Megatron soliloquizes. “Two minutes until the earth dies”. Destructicons get all sentimental and transform again to stop the drill. TWO SECONDS, ONE SECOND PLEASE LET THIS MADNESS END and the drill stops so I can’t go to bed ever now.

Megatron and the ‘Cons take off. Devastator takes off, too. Chip is sad. He misses Devastator. Me too. The future is built on dreams.

Moral of the story: I don’t know what is true anymore.