Soundwave has scanned something. Apparently Megatron and Starscream at jive buddies again. They’ve found some Colonium Crystals, and Soundwave keeps reminding me of Auto-Tuned News. The crystals be mad dangerous, yo. Starscream, like us, has never heard of these crystals, and Megatron calls him stupid. Scream wants to trick Optimus into leading the Autobots into the path of these crystals, thus blowing them the hell up.

Autobots see the lights, and Casey Casem/Cliffjumper

Starscream calls him Floptimus Prime, and that’s great. We’ve got us a Robot Fight at 12 o’clock. It’s 3 on 1, but Prime calls them bitches and says less than 4 isn’t worth his time. Snap! Laserbeak shows up and knocks Optimus down. Megatron doesn’t want Prime hurt, just photos from every angle. Probably for porn. Megatron is a bit of a freak like that. See: Starscream.

Back at Decepticons temp. HQ, they make a clone of Optimus using the scans that Laserbeak took. They send the new Optimus clone out to lead the Autobots, while the real one sits at the bottom of a chasm. Whatever you do, don’t finish him off, Megatron, you git. The real Optimus awakes, but it’s too late.

At the Ark Fake Prime keeps getting the Autobots names confused. Ironhide and Spike are worried, and Prime is acting like an Alzheimer’s patient. We’ve got an alarm, and the scanner shows the other Optimus. Fake Prime tells the Autobots to shoot his ass down, but before they do–

Break.

Rachet isn’t so sure, so they don’t shoot. Spike lays it down, and nobody is sure which is the impostor. They ask Teletraan, and it says “gimmie a minute.” It says they’re identical. Spike isn’t happy about this. They decides to do a reality show-type series of tests. First up: Shooting at rocks. Hooray! They both nail it. Then they have a race. Who will win?! Here’s a hint: The Canadian People. Spike admits the tests were stupid.

Megaton is glad, and he’s got some interfearing thingys inside the whatsit. I don’t know. Autobots Transform, move 50 yards, and Transform again at the “energy crevice”. Starscream gloats via telescreen, and Megatron tells him to shut up. Megatron also says he’s planning on sacrificing a Decepticon to the fake Prime so the Autobots will believe that he’s legit. He wants it to be Starscream. Shocker! Scream runs, and Megatron has Soundwave send Laserbeak after him. Mini-Robot Fight. Spike and what may be Cliffjumper figure out where the new Decepticons base is because of Starscream’s whining. Chris Latta is not what you’d call a subtle actor, but man he gets the job done.

Megatron explains to Starscream that he meant they should make a CLONE of Starscream and sacrifice that. Screamy calms down and goes along with it.

Break.

Spike is inside new DeceptiHQ and Megatron taunts him. Those Clone Helmets look stupid. He makes Spike watch as they toy with his pals. This is a pretty awesome Robot Fight, as well. Megatron thinks he is a genius, Starscream wants to kill Prime. Clone Starscream challanges Clone Prime to a “one-on-one fight to the finish”. Someone call Vince McMahon, I think the world is ready for a Robot On A Pole match.

The Clones Robot Fight and Chris Latta screams like the champion that he is. Clone Prime finally takes him out. The Autobots now believe he’s the real deal. Clone Prime: “Follow me, Autobots. Into The Crevice” They follow him. Before they drop into the crevice and die, Windcharger pops up and explains what’s up. Clone Prime wants to get the Crystals and let Megatron kill Spike. They blast Clone Prime, and Megatron is sad. He decides to abandon yet another secret hideout. The Once and Future Prime leads his Autobots after the ‘Cons, who drop Spike and make their getaway. Nobody minds too much. Optimus stumbles over a “I am who I am” joke and we’re out.

morals of the story: Be yourself! It’s like high school musical but with robots and none of the stupid musical.